What Are We Doing?

This bit of advice keeps coming back to me: Don’t force what you are doing, let it flow. There is a gentleness, a freedom that is implied by acting without force. I’m trying to talk myself into reading a book that I know holds really good information, but I want to quickly find it, get to the point, kill that goose to get to the golden egg. My sister said it’s boooooring to begin at the beginning of a book, but I didn’t see it as boring exactly, so I started overthinking because I had to know who was right. It might be boring to begin at the beginning, but I started wondering what exactly is this idea of boring? I decided to ask ChatGPT for Frayer model information for the word boring.

Getting that information helped me to recognize that I am conflicted about putting in the time to read the book by starting at the beginning, both anticipating finding gems, but at the same time feeling doubt that this book going to give me anything new. I am worried that this will be a waste of time. Another piece of advice that keeps coming back to me: I better not be wasting any time, the pathetic disgrace of not efficiently achieving will potentially send me into a shame spiral. It got me thinking of all the other things I could do with my time, how does reading this book rank in priority against them, and when the final analysis report of my actions gets submitted, did I overall meet the threshold to earn the title of “Productive Citizen” with my time?

So I didn’t feel bored, but on the Mood Meter, bored is in the blue quadrant,

ChatGPT recommended that I look into the opposites section of the Frayer models, to see what bored is Not. I find that in the green quadrant I could be calm or content. In the yellow I could be excited or curious. In the red I could be frustrated. None of those are bored. So again thinking about starting to read the book, I realize it is actually an unknown on how I will feel, what I discover, and what gets changed within me. That is all a future mystery, one that I may or may not take part in. Will I actually read the first page?

I did, starting with the forward by Candace Pert, who is not the author of the book. I found something interesting. Here is an excerpt “You’ll learn of the flexible nature of the human brain, its ability to reorganize and adapt itself and how its growth and capacities are influenced by the sensory-motor systems of the body. You’ll learn how to create a rich, sensory learning environment, and, sadly, you’ll see how some of the teaching methods we now employ hamper the creativity, imagination and joy of learning for our children.”

Cool. I could use that information because I want to get better at teaching. I want to use this information to create something meaningful at work. But that’s work. What about for me? What about having fun? That’s the key. To quote more, “…it is now clear to me that anticipation of pleasure is the key to all learning. Only the neuropeptides and other information molecules that promote pleasure in our lives can stimulate and enhance the learning process. All other molecules of emotion diminish learning in deference to survival. Play is the important work of childhood and the base from which all learning grows. Environments that include pleasure, movement, and creativity are truly the most successful for learning.” Side note- Candace Pert also wrote a book called Molecules of Emotion, I haven’t read it.

Weird narrative:

“Doing these dishes is boring. Repetitive movements, nothing new, just work.”

“Yes, there are parts of life that are boring. Doing these dishes right now is boring. That’s ok. You can do them being bored.”

“But I don’t want to be bored. It is unpleasant, and reminds me of being sad.”

“Yes, being sad feels similar to being bored, especially since when you were learning how to do dishes, and had to do them a lot, while you were sad, your body feels sad when it does dishes sometimes.”

Other things I’ve been doing: