😬 🌊

Today will mark the beginnng of longer term projects that I need to be aware of and manage. Kitchen remodel, IEP preparation, Holiday logistics. Then there are the micro projects- bike maintenance, body maintenance, lesson planning, dishes, etc. As always, these comprise the 10000 things that swril around in my life and in my awareness. How much mental time and space do I want them to take up? Like as a percentage of my total capacity? Little. How much will they take up? Much. I want to expand my consciousness to be tapped into the vast unknown, that can hold all I have to do and think about, but also hold room or space for so much other awareness that in the overall analysis, these is peace, which means what? Nothing to think about? Nothing to do? No emergency? No work? The ability to sit back and be happy? Not sure what it is, but being able to be calm amidst Chaotic micro projects would be a nice way to go about each day. When I think of “getting back to the grind”, I realize that e...

Is it though? Do I have to look at day to day life as a grind? Or can I somehow view it differently? Today the first thing I will do is list some items for sale on a website. I have already taken photos of the items, now I just need to look at the photo, then look up the item online to see how much money other similar products are listed at, then find a price that feels right to me to list mine at. To do this, I need to get a notebook to write down some things; a scratchpad. I will also get my computer so I can toggle between different sites efficiently, that seems reasonable to me. That means I have to get up from where I am sitting, which seems like a big chore at this time. I am perceiving this whole thing to be a big pain in the ass because of the effort I need to put into the job, plus the anticipation of people trying to negotiate with me. I don’t want to deal with it, that anticipation of interpersonal conflict makes me cower inside. Let’s just see what happens as I start to wor...

The anticipation is gone. The excitement, the wonder, disappeared. It’s not exactly back to the grind, but it’s time now to be preparing for the next week. Cleaning up, organizing preparing mentally. I have some speeches to prepare, some logistics to organize, but through it all, I have my body to love and take care of. Drink enough water, read for good information. Play my guitar to keep learning melodies for when I play with others in the future. Work on fixing the broken car. All these things are part of the 10,000 things that swirl about my ecosystem. This morning I got up at 5:30 to feed the cats, then had to separate them because they were fighting over the litterbox. The second litterbox has been put away for a few days due to company coming over, things are not back to normal exactly. I slept for another 2 hours, got up at 7:30, and finished the final few minutes of Pluribus episode 5 called “Got Milk”. Carol discovered something. (I’ll keep it cryptic for now, although the epi...

It’s Thanksgiving day, 2025. I got up at 5:30, fed the dog, let her out to pee in the yard. What are we doing? Caring for the physical health of my dog. Her routine so she has some stability, which seems to be increasingly important as a she gets older. Then I used the bathroom, started the coffee, laid down on the couch with a blanket and the cats. After a while I started deleting emails, noticing which ones made my heart jump a little more than others, but taking a deep breath instead of getting angry. I hadn’t had any coffee yet, still working on developing the habit of no coffee for 90 minutes in the morning, I’m unclear about the scientific rationale behind it exactly, but the general idea is that it helps me have a more regulated nervous system. So what are we doing? With email, I guess I could say the Royal We is being calmly responsible. Clearing out my emails could be part of that Ideal- Inbox Zero. Where everything is in its place and waiting for you when you are ready to dea...

I always wonder why the only way I am able to keep a routine is by force. Routine: 5 am wake up, make coffee, clean kitchen, make lunch, play with cats, take shower, change a couple times, leave by 6:30. I eat protein- and fiber-filled snacks and meals all day then come home and talk with Tim and Audrey and then watch a show and go to bed. It's healthy and stable. Without that schedule I still wake up at five but then usually go back to sleep, only to lay around until like 10 unless I am trying to get to a grocery store early as crowds are overwhelming and almost debilitating. I resent the schedule but then once I have the choice to set a new one I immediately give up since I don't "have" to do it. Not as much an issue during a break of five days, but during the summer it is worse. I end up packing a lunch some summer mornings just to make sure I eat the way I need to, even though I'm not going to work. This particular break feels like I am experiencing a days-lon...

This bit of advice keeps coming back to me: Don’t force what you are doing, let it flow. There is a gentleness, a freedom that is implied by acting without force. I’m trying to talk myself into reading a book that I know holds really good information, but I want to quickly find it, get to the point, kill that goose to get to the golden egg. My sister said it’s boooooring to begin at the beginning of a book, but I didn’t see it as boring exactly, so I started overthinking because I had to know who was right. It might be boring to begin at the beginning, but I started wondering what exactly is this idea of boring? I decided to ask ChatGPT for Frayer model information for the word boring. Getting that information helped me to recognize that I am conflicted about putting in the time to read the book by starting at the beginning, both anticipating finding gems, but at the same time feeling doubt that this book going to give me anything new. I am worried that this will be a waste of time. An...

I did  MeSquats  again today. 100 of them in 5 sets of 20. Why would it be important to do the math on that? It’s probably not. Except you could judge that someone did it wrong- like you could point out that they were weak and couldn’t do all 100. But you could also recognize that the person was weak and have compassion on them, giving them encouragement and pointing out how good it was that they stuck through each set, and kept coming back at it until the “work was complete”. Praising effort.  Do you know what it’s like to have your effort praised? Like, can you actually accept and believe, and receive the message that a person gives you that has the intention of a positive connotation? I find it interesting that a genuine “nice job” may or may not be received, depending on MANY factors! //insert some explanation of the neurological pathway that has to do with sound waves entering the ear and being sent to whatever processing center they get sent to. //then insert the sa...

I prefer calling it the flow state. I think my first memory of being in flow state was back at my childhood home listening to Dad’s music on the garage sound system while I practiced taking off bike parts and trying to put them back in the right spots. Joy, curiosity, experimenting with cause and effect without even thinking about it. It was feel. My fingers memorized little differences in size, shape, texture, and I didn’t have words for it. It was feel. My nervous system works pretty darn well. I’ve also used that basic structure God gave me and practiced on honing it to do skills that are useful. Dare I say I have some skills? My mentor told me it’s not arrogant if you can do it. //Imagine a series of photos or videos showing me doing skillful things. It’s time to get serious about my media company- Grimm House. I’ve seen enough responsible people in my life to know what it looks like to be a responsible person. I know I can do it, but I’ve been letting fears of different sorts beco...

Get in the dirt with cleaning and music. The Horse stance.  For an hour!?

Conflict. Even internal conflict, at odds with self. “I don’t want to, but I should.” I want to, but I shouldn’t. There is plenty to do today, just get started. Finding peace with animals in the house. : I am not at peace at the moment. I am having difficulty getting physically comfortable, because I don’t know how to do it. My environment (the things outside of me), can seem like they are all yelling for my attention. But maybe they are not all yelling at me. Maybe they are just there, and the perception that they need something from me is rather a feeling I have, but I don’t know how to put it into words. Those words are an unknown set of words at this time, I DON’T KNOW WHAT THEY ARE.  My body has never really been comfortable because it always has to be braced for impact. Impact from the outside world. My environment. There is an  Here is the one I did last night. Apparently, I can’t get away from work thoughts. My identity is wrapped up in the package of being a teacher. ...

Design. Left, Right, up, down, side to side. Not just noticing, but also producing, skills involved. These pictures are a week’s worth of Writing Skills. What standards in English could be targeted using these photos? How could the picture be used? Well, let’s start with this photo. I took this photo while riding my bike with no hands on November 21 at around 6:20 AM in downtown San Luis Obispo on my way to the bus stop. Let’s analyze: Name one color that stands out to you. How would you describe this picture for a person who is blind?

Rotation of duties has different facets. We could do this, or could do that. Some can, some can’t. Where do you see growth opportunities? Can we exist peacefully? Can we be reflective? Is the dojo points system setting us up for failure? If someone is intrinsically motivated, trying to put an extrinsic reward system in place might cause unintended consequences. What would those be? How to carry on/push through when you do not want to be there. When you’d rather be doing anything other than working. You get in the moment and have fun with what’s in front of you.

Chaos and confusion doesn’t have to knock us off course. We can rely on habits. But if the habits are bad, we must become aware of our actions, and use corrective procedures to change them. And sometimes the shaking it up will be what helps people grow up a bit. Or both habits (order) and chaotic patterns grow together. Like wheat and weeds.

But the cold comes back around. It’s cyclical. As are all things, right? Tradition. For some, it’s really easy to get discouraged. Then it becomes hard to hold high expectations. Encouragement helps us hold our heads up. Compound interest

Pouring rain. One Student out. A change in personnel. Each of these occurrences require different calculations. But is it possible for the recalculations to just be simple? Yes, when you have a good team of people, and can provide fairly clear directions and expectations, things work out well. Cars are expensive. Do we really need them?

I knew it was coming so I’m not bothered. It actually is kind of nice. Camping in the rain is an adventure I haven’t done in a while,  It’s nice when things are installed correctly as well. 

This one is just practical. Where do I put all my things? I’ll get to it, but I want to review my week. As I look back on my posts here, I have updated my labels. Now I can reflect a bit more efficiently. Workbench:  Prepare for Auto maintenance

Less is more. Be concise. It’s less confusing and annoying to others. Montessori p.87. Not knowing what to expect, let things come to you, then they will pass. Sometimes they look like they’re coming, but they pass you by and don’t touch you. Overwhelm and doubt can create the Grimacing Tide from within, but taking the time to get centered is the best thing I can think of to do.  On second thought, I can first get centered and brave, to open up and face the Grimacing Tide, inside and outside. The Model of Support: “Hold my hand, look me in the eye, I have something to say that might be hard for you to hear. I’m sorry to tell you, we can’t do XYZ, there was a problem with ABC.” How to Spotlight Awesome People, LOL

“ Got no time for things you don’t understand ”- Spoon Run away or get mad and stand your ground, resolving to get it figured out. Recognize the feelings in your body. I have good energy, so I’m not feeling down or disheartened, but it’s in me now as annoyance and irritation. I am motivated to figure things out. Calculated with math, nice to get clarity. It’s been here the whole time, I just never looked.

Is it possible to start seeing the right way to do most things, because of a lifetime of making mistakes over and over again? Does it get easier to just flow? I just had a glimpse that it does. The Grimacing Tide doesn’t have to come from within. Or does it all come from within?  The outside is what happens, but it’s so confusing. Just Be still. Deep breaths. 

Responsibly working on what feels right, and being right about the action. Acting right. Right action. Aligned. Doing the full process. I am so practical and nuanced that I am reprioritizing all the time, but it’s making me tired. Just breathe and flow. This constant re-assessment is draining me.  From ChatGPT: In Tao Te Ching #2 (often translated differently depending on the edition), the phrase “act without presumption” points to the Taoist principle of wu wei (無為) — usually translated as “non-action” or “effortless action.” To “act without presumption” means: Do without arrogance or self-importance. Don’t assume your actions are the ultimate cause of outcomes. The Tao teaches that results arise naturally when we’re aligned with the flow of life, not when we force them through ego or pride. Act without claiming ownership. You may plant seeds, but the growth doesn’t belong to you. Lao Tzu often says the sage “acts but does not possess; accomplishes but takes no credit.” A...

I am not simple. I am aware. I am open, but as I bring in ideas, and store them, the framework within me grows. Feelings and memories get stored , my brain lies to me (so I’ve heard)- but it’s more like the brain needs to fill in gaps because there is no way it can absorb and process everything. My wife is listening to yacht rock as she gets ready for going to work today. I have the day off of work, but I have a lot of work lined up to do. I do best when I take the time to organize my thoughts into my daily structure. My daily structure is the patterns of my life that are repetitious. It starts with the  morning thoughts, then a description of my Physical Health data-namely sleep and water. Then money, then a prompt to review my reminders and calendar.Then there is space for any incoming thoughts into an Eisenhower Matrix, followed by the Mood Meter. Finally there is a Priority Indicator to line up my day. “Trust yourself to be open to God’s inspiration for your course direction, e...

Changing personality? INFP to INFJ? How? Why? Chat GPT gave me a reflective exercise to examine this possible change. When do I feel deeply moved to act? When It feels right based on my body’s energy level for the task. Before that, checking in with myself and bringing my aweareness between my eyebrows, letting all the possible actions I could do race through my mid. Sometimes using a priority indicator to help analyze and line up the priorities of the day using logistical and systems thinking, plus the algorithmic nature of the priority indicator.  On a recent decision, did I wait for inner alightnment or plan based on likely outcomes for others? Both. Knowing that my inner alignment would happen if I considered others, I constantly switch between the two, with each thought of others being processed by my feeling to see how or where there is friction. How have my habits evolved? What new responsibilities make structure feel empowering? I use structured Daily Action Plans and calen...

The Art of analyzing and heavy, depressing thoughts that run through your mind. Like”Why do I have to do all this? Why am I the one doing it? When do I get to rest, this is too hard. I  keep trying to add two things, but they keep getting lost. When will everything just go smoothly without all those problems? Will I be safe with this dog? Everything I do is being responsible by being myself. I may be emotionally stunted, but still here, being me. 

“I retained as the only essential, the affirmation, or, rather, the definition of Wundt, that all methods of experimental psychology may be reduced to one, namely, carefully recorded observation of the subject.” Next is the Study of Development. My grant writing professor’s briefcase. I thought he was a dork until I discovered he was a musician. The Art of carrying a briefcase. The Art of typing with only one hand. Like this word. And this word, and this word, and this letter. Each one was typed with my right hand. My right hand is my AAC hand. Or I could lie down and type. Then my body could rest and I could still work with minimal effort. Plus, it would slow down my output.  Why would i want to do that? The Art of Knowing when to speed up and when to slow down.   The art of creating an online website store using blogspot.

It’s like Jiffy Lube. A place that operates to change the oil. It doesn’t matter what kind of car you have, we can change the oil. It doesn’t matter what kind of brain you have, we can help you learn. What if it’s only brain- stem function? There are limits to our abilities.  But if we find some core principles, get an understanding of what is necessary to find ourselves in our environment, we can begin to gain some wisdom towards this model creation. Observation Liberty. Discipline. Montessori Chapter 5.

Grow up. Stop that. Conform. Do better.  It’s not that you are a bad person, it’s that you are not contributing to the relationship and ultimately the community or society. The little head wag means I’m innocent and I love you, love me back, give me what I want and take care of my needs. That’s an incorrect assumption. Developmental considerations are important, and growing up is hard. I also have this time that just opened up, and part of me has the desire to work on things, but I am also overwhelmed and don’t know if I have the focus and stamina to be able to sit and work on things. Do better! But I’m tired! But what you have done is not good enough, and you should fix that. Do better! Make improvements, you SHOULD be better! “Children, and especially babies, are considered the treasures of the whole clan. In one tribal culture, a newborn baby spends its first six weeks with just its parents and immediate family to allow close bonding. During that time, the whole tribe is involve...

There is no need to rush. Frantic- trying to keep up with all of the current swirls. They can just float on by. I COULD reach out and interrupt the flow, changing a bit of this or that, and from time to time I do. I could also write about what I see, and how I see it, and from time to time I do. So I’ll keep doing my exercises, drinking water, and try to keep a pleasant disposition in the world. Not because I have to, but because it’s how I want to be.  “Someone stole the hubcaps!” “Is that right?” Then the people go about their day solving their problems. Rain in the forecast. Difficult conversations as well. Losing contact with people that were once in close swirls is coming. Gaining new people into the mix is coming too. Gain, loss, new and uncomfortable, new and comfortable, old and comfortable, old and uncomfortable. Make sense or let it stay not understood. Experience the mystery unfold. A song from yesterday: Soup from today:

This is where ignorance comes from? Well I don’t want to be ignorant, so how can I plan for the future yet enjoy the present moment? That’s not even the right question.  Warrior 3 really targets the right muscles for me. When we have missed out, we lack. Much can be said about lack. I will plan out the day, some things will happen, some things will not happen. Just like making many mini adjustments for the bathroom fan to work properly.  Bathroom fan and how I dealt with that Project has it so many analogous features to students working on schoolwork. Who knows what’s coming up? Does it matter? How much does it matter? 

Today Monday Tuesday Wednesday Thursday Friday Saturday Foresight is a flower of the Way, and the beginning of ignorance too. I foresee using organization techniques that are effective for providing clarity to me and others. I foresee getting clear on where I want to go with my being, character, self, the type of person I want to be. I foresee being weighed down with all the tools and the naming of things, and organization. The relation of sages to the world is one of concern: they cloud their minds for the world; all people pour into their ears and eyes, and sages render them innocent. Those who know, do not say. Those who say, do not know. Fun little bits of philosophy from the Tao Te Ching. Still priority #1 today is bathroom fan. The fan never worked, so I had to just put the old one back in. 

Delicious.  Shelves Ducts Imperfect machines that can be mended.

What are the routines that are stable, yet keeping us stuck? Lament Ponder Avoid Get in the dirt Enjoy the conversations. Boys town “Teaching interactions” Rationale The Notes App. Amazing. Duct Work