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Expectations and guilt, or celebration of love and family? What do you do when you want it to be one thing, but it’s not on the outside. The inner reality doesn’t match the inner longing. Just work on getting rid of the longing? Change the longing by placing a pessimistic view on top of it, clouding it all so even what is there actually gets obscured?  No. Sitting in whatever it is, grateful that you get to be a part of it all for one more year. Bringing your own unique style of interacting with the world.

Let’s start with this. What are they? Comment below. Who am I talking to? I’m talking to you. The reader. I am asking you to interact with me online through my comments section. I’d love it if you would comment below telling me the definition of fractals. I have not looked it up, but I am delegating it to you if you want to do it. Here is a reason you should do it: you will be an honorary participant of my blog. The first prize goes to my sister. She is now officially the first person to interact with me through my blog, so she gets the “Honraray Participant” award. This award goes to her not as a monetary award, but as a self-serving? capitalistic? move of promoting her blog post right here with the hyperlink:     Next topic:  “The Right Way”. How do you know when you’ve found it? Example: Making coffee. I make good coffee. It’s strong in flavor and caffeine. I love it right when I wake up, the coffee maker begins brewing at 4:30 after the night crew washed out the previ...

Think of the Wolf Moon as the deep-winter checkpoint: resources are low, discipline matters, and you rely on your pack. Culturally, Horse years are about motion over contemplation—you don’t over-plan, you run. This pairing creates an interesting tension: Wolf Moon: endure, assess, stay loyal, survive the winter Horse Year: move, break free, travel, act decisively Together, they suggest: “Move—but don’t abandon the pack.” Momentum guided by loyalty and clarity. If the Horse is speed, the Wolf Moon is discipline.

What’s inside the middle?

Effort before they know. I tend to have feelings of care…? Not sure what that means, but I don’t DO anything about it. I do not act. I Imagine and think. I live in a world of potential action, keeping me in a good mood, imagining the best outcomes, but reality doesnt always match. I could DO more. Act. Do. Even when uncomfortable. Even when you’re not sure how things will work out. Be ok with the uncertainty and the fact that unknown things will come your way;

Sunday fog. Warm. Cold. Wind. Chaos. Cozy order. ChatGPT 5.2 is Agent mode, deeper thinking. I’m in deep, but these words are my output, even though I am just parroting talking points in some ways. Is it original. My cat sitting on the sink box is not generated by AI. Let the tasks begin. Wipe out the cupboards. Then use cardboard to make a template.  Nevermind. Abandon templates, just wipe out and put items in. Least frequent use goes furthest in back. Taking a break feels counterproductive. But I did it. So now let’s go be productive on the counters. So clever.

Systems thinking. Can you have Stillwaters of the mind when you are constantly brainstorming and examining systems in your head? I’ve been following primary design company, examining AI and the sesame systems building the Miles and Maya models. I just got invited to a live that he started because I actually turned on his notifications to be alerted when he goes live.  I think this was it I started the car project for day three. The first two videos I posted on my YouTube site. One was regular format, one was vertical and under two minutes, so it uploaded as a short. For the oil housing the next step is going to be removing it and it’s going to require that. I be extremely careful with exactly which bolt I put where but that shouldn’t be too difficult. I also have to remove a hose with a clamp on it and it’s a one time clamp so it will break and I’ll have to replace it but I did already buysome clamps. I just don’t know exactly where I put them so I have an oil drain.  Some cla...

No time like the present to stop the mind and rest. There is much work to be done, but the time in which to do it is questionable, fluid, chaotic. Sitting still, knowing I am not god, but just a part of something greater than anything I could have ever thought up. Events will happen during my time here, then I’ll be gone. Life is definitely interesting and curious. I am interested in prayer, but it’s not something I have practiced much. It feels foolish, but is that a misinterpretation or misguidance from my Magic, Witchcraft, and Religion class back at Chico State in the early 90’s? 

A slight bend. A minuscule movement will open up a different outcom than the one currently “in the cards”. Putting down your ego, being willing to see that you don’t know, and having faith that what you do will be used for good. Cascading events, like a chain reaction move outwards from a thought. When things align to bring about peace in the storm of reality, moments of peace pierce the protective screen of denial and unawareness. So how do we see to the other side? Who is our guide? do we need one? An inside guide? Who can see the most? 

Execution of what’s in front of me. Not striving, not pushing, just being cool. 

How do we get ready for new ideas? New housing. New landscape. New places for which to put the new ideas. You might have to go back and build a better framework, the structure on which to build it. Tear down the old, and bring in the new. Brick by brick. One item at a time. No hurry, no stress. In many ways keep the status quo, but let go of the attachment to any of it, be willing to let go of any part at any time. Observe it from above, from a different perspective, a peaceful place, Ask for guidance on how to cultivate a peaceful place in your mind. Or just rest. Take away all the hows, and just let go of it all, and rest. 

Here. Carrying on. finding meaning. Going to work. Meeting responsibility. Being accountable. Not succumbing to the pain of life and giving up. Facing difficult conversations. Finding the time to do hard things. Choosing to do the hard things. Surviving. It’s interesting to consider how we got to this place, where social media might be the ultimate vehicle for mind control; getting us to do things that are a waste of time or energy in pursuit of “value”. The value is in living. Doing. Being. It’s painful sometimes and we want to stop. But we can practice stopping, getting ready for the ultimate stop. Recognize our mortality, yet carry on, not afraid. Is there meaning in the meaninglessness of our actions? Nobody will remember in the long run. Where do we put the hope? What can we hope for in order to carry on?

Work together. Listen. Be willing to compromise. What matters most? The work or the people? The task, or the relationship? 

Looking, staring. Gawking. It’s gotten me into trouble since I was 5. “Keep your eye on the grand old flag”. Last night at a concert, a man put to words what he saw in my face. It was his way of keeping me in check, testing me to see where I was mentally. It made me reflect in that moment, what was I putting out there, communicating to the room? I readjusted, and after he was sure I was in check, he gave me a back pat and gave me some space. Alternatively, he was not in fact trying to keep me in check, he was trying to vibe with me over something I didn’t want to acknowledge and vibe with him. So, I ignored him, and his second attempt to get my attention was ignored as well. Then, his back pat was a final fare thee well, have a good night, distant brother. I was in fact putting up a boundary on the outside, because I saw in him something I didn’t want to let out within myself. In that case, I was protecting myself, being true on the outside to my more idealized self. What are the rules...

This advice is simple to understand, difficult to do. MeSquats are a good place to practice this. Then micro adjustments can take place, and the fascia can release its tension in some places, and expand in others. The fascia seems to respond to different patterns of muscle contractions, so when patterns of contractions are happening, they become housed in a structure. Once housed, it becomes easier to make these patterns happen again. The fascia is responding to the muscle, detached from morality, uncaring of whether or not the muscle contractions are helpful or harmful to the overall body. Accommodating the movements. Preserving the system. The muscles are partly involuntary, partly voluntary. We have some control over our voluntary muscles, let’s start with our eyelids., then our eyes. Close the eyelids, fix the eyes as is they were gazing in between the eyebrows. If and when you feel pain, breathe into it, imagining you are soothing the pain by pointing breathe at it. Grateful Shred

Having energy with nothing to do. That describes the opposite of most of my days but what if in the moment I had nothing to do other than breathe? Would that be peaceful? There will always be much to do; the 10,000 things never rest. Where are you now? On the bus, down in the black mirror, HSLF viewer.

Eyes cloaked. Head down. Cross legged. Tired. Feeling defeated. The day has only just begun. This body position is one I take when feeling defeated. But , it could also be the starting point for fixing your eyes straight ahead and breathing dep into your belly. Th strength to hold you up spreads through your body and there are micro-adjustments Wherever you think your movement is leading you, just start going there, but be ready to stop and feel. Then readjust. Breathe again. Start over. The circle. Emanate calm, regulated peace, even in moments of self-frustration, doubt, and pain. Continue to breathe deeply, unhurried, trusting, peaceful.

Teeth clenched. Shallow breath. Feeling pressure to get words out, but no words are coming. That’s the trick apparently. The trick to get out of the intellectualizing- get into the body and just feel it. Less words. Words are safety. Getting away from words is scary, uncomfortable. You have to then feel in your body. So where does your attention go? Chaotically everywhere. Mind racing. That’s ok. Just breathe. It’s uncomfortable, but worthwhile.

When everyone gets to work, it will seem real, but right now it all seems like it’s not really happening. I got up at 5:30 or so, did yoga, took care of the animals, said goodbye to my son who is going surfing, then heading back to LA. A few logistical discussions with my wife, sit down to write this. I’m going to go take a shower and then need to let go of what I want to, how I see things, and compromise. That’s fine, can I do it with grace? Can I be easygoing? Can I just go with someone else’s flow? Even if I see that it’s mistake after mistake? No worries, I make mistake after mistake as well. Things don’t just flow, they bounce off of each other and create little problems, like the dust devils of yesterday. Some need my attention, some don’t. I hope and pray to be removed from the problems on a personal level if they really don’t concern me. What is mine, what is not? My patience may be tested today though, I kept waking up through the night, not able to go back to sleep. Sometimes...